TGIF

For real, this week has been bleeccchhhh. Way too busy with work stuff and post-work commitments. Last week too. On the positive, I am so much more productive when stressed and time-crunched, but the production is for work or stuff for other people. Translate to, my house is still a mess and tomorrow is going to be frantic up until 3:58. I need to figure out how to channel my energy to the parts of my life that matter.

happy or good list-
1. Chesterfield sofas, come on.....
2. Chanel purses
3. Tea
4. McDonald's sundaes. [what's up, profile pic!]. Maybe McDonald's in general, minus the whole giant corporation, fake food, people are fat aspect
5. Macerated strawberries, I'm making you tonight

I'm thinking I may need to move this list to Thursday and make Friday a lessons learned from the week post. This week I learned:

1. I will use any excuse in the world to "not find time to exercise". Even with a SEVEN.FIVE miles RACE coming up in THREE WEEKS. I haven't run in 2! FML.

2. I am a crazy person when it comes to my job. Fickle and emotional and all over the place. I am completely the opposite of this in every other part of my life. And I should clarify, I'm not fickle or emotional or nutso when doing actual work, just when thinking about where I'm at, where I'm going, what I want. This better go away by 35.

3. Parties make me nervous. I knew this.

4. Ed and I can fight while cleaning without breaking things, progress - yay!

5. I love spending money. LOVE. I knew this too, but it needs to be typed because it can turn into a Bad Scene.

Wednesdays will be things I'm thankful for.

On today, I am thankful for:

1. I am healthy as shit, the older I get, the more important this becomes.

2. My family is awesome in a noninvasive way. So is Ed's. What are the odds?

3. My MacBook. Srsly, LOVE.

4. Maintaining an income even though I'm unemployed; way luckier than others even if I pout like Bitter Sally ALL DAY LONG

5. Not giving a shit about weddings or babies. I would have no hair left. And I'm glad it's not a fake and stressful not caring, it's legit. Way better stuff to focus on in life. I do give a shit that Ed will be my husband one day, and for that I am ALSO thankful.

Off to Fenway, where Dice-K better give me some more stuff to be thankful for...

Blrghcndhhhh..........fgvfv,ll........

My sentiments exactly. Let's just say I am really looking forward to the bar. And with no real reason.

Woke up late, scrambled so Ed would have time to shower in hot water and then Ed decided to text his boss and sleep in so my rushing was for not. Just kind of a whatever morning followed by an equally shitastic day. Too much traffic, I am debating whether we shoveled enough and feel like a bad neighbor, too much work, like NUTTY, again today! Spent too much $$ on food: breakfast was an everything bagel w/ Earth balance and light CC and some tea both from Dunkies. Work work work and then caf for lunch - gross. Had a ham and mustard wrap, chips, a pickle and a diet snapple. Gross. More tea, my teeth are gnarly and I swear they have a yellow-ish sheen to them that is getting worse and worse. I have totally let myself go.

Had like 3 or 4 mini Reeses late afternoon, along with a Werthers and a banana on the ride home. Did my facebook/channel 7 expose around 4, still can't decide if that's a poor choice or not. Time will tell, I guess. Still love the snowblower guy. My house is cold - I'm home now, heading to trivia shortly. I'm eating a yogurt. Just found out Erin and Josh are moving to LA. Very exciting but I am a little sad to lose a friend geographically. Whatever, I never get out West and this will be more incentive to go visit. And it's warm so I'm totally jealous already. Not that I don't love Boston, I'm never leaving.

So that's where I stand, no exercise again today and I'm in a bad mood. It's like 10 degrees out. Barf. Work was chaotic, I hate rushing around for stuff that actually doesn't need rushing, I hate taking steps in order to insure something is done a certain way and then seeing them done differently, I hate that some days I have so much to do and other days it's like a pin has dropped. I sound like such a brat! Maybe I am the "kids" I hate so much...yeesh.

I am so thankful to have a job and love the people I work with and my company is very, very decent [still don't understand most of what we sell and the teenage FTW in me will not let me entirely buy into a giant corporate ideal - but good benefits go a LONG way in my book]. I am just kind of in an annoyed rutty funk. I need to do something, I am already dreading that I'll manage to waste our time off, when it's something I really need an could put to good use. I need to start meditating or some shizzz. Off to the bar!

BFNP [Boring Friday Night Post]

Blah Friday, blah everyday lately. Good news was I was less sick today, still like 85% vs 100... So I WFH and my day was dead as a doornail until 1 and then it was nuts to butts. But it's over and then we went out to Sei Bar around 6:30 and it lived up and exceeded expectations! Yay!

I'm on my 3rd sequential episode of Bad Girls Club and getting ready for bed. So here's what I ate today...no exercise, but I did get some laundry done this morning.

Bagel, with tea
Fiber 1 bar
Udon noodles
Yogurt
Juice
Tea

Edamame
2 Malibu Monsoons
Chicken katsu w/ rice
Sushi
M&M chipwich

More juice, I'm super thirsty today - weird. I'm having more now.

Ok, this Aliea girl on BGC is craaazy and like funny crazy, she tries to be hard and looks like an angry 6 year old with bad highlights. I waste so much time wtaching TV. I should re-focus; here goes: Tomorrow, jogging, arms, home depot, clean, fix my floors. Maybe Old Navy. Although I just paid off my bills [relatively speaking...ha], why do I insist on spending more and more money immediately? Acck.

Someone is playing horrible techno music outside or in their apartment or something, I can hear it in my living room. Annoying. Hopefully it stops shortly, Princess will be displeased if he hears it when he gets home. Beyond that, no news is good news. Oh but I guess they're digging up my street for a month starting Monday, that will be an adventure. TGIF - Off to bed before my sickness that is waning starts to wax!

Just another cra-zy Saturday night

I had TJ's instant oats and flax for lunch, and then a yogurt. Then we went to Desfina and I had a beer after work. I actually wound up having 3, what else is new. I had a bag of Sun Chips and probably 5-7 of Andy's hand cut fries. Then we went to see Jenny Dee and the Deeeelinquents at the Cask N Flagon, they were fabulous but that is no surprise. We then headed to Crossroads [me, Erin, Ed, Pickles and Crotty] and I had like half of another Corona, a DC, a cheeseburger and a few fries. Fries were not good. I then got a pounding headache, came home, took some Advil and fell right asleep.

Today was wasted trying to get Red Sox tickets, I love my team, and I love paying face value. I got in a few times but only was able to get section 35 [barf] or SRO and the tried to get better and got booted. Whatever, it would've been more on the credit card and I'm trying to save, right? So yeah, had some Instant Breakfast and tea and chained myself to the computer between laundry and tidying up.

Lindsay R came over for a bit on her way home from a shower, I had some Chex Mix and water. Then I made some Kraft Alfredo mac n cheese, a teeny bit of Boones, and a giant piece of garlic bread. Ed actually found bread at WF that I don't like, a first. It's ok, but sour doughy in a strong way that is not good. Does this stop me from eating it? Hell's to the no. The day I do not eat bread that's available in my house, Armageddon is on the way for sure. It's an extra disappointment because Ed got this really good butter that he says is awesome but I can't really tell - it's yummy but I think I'm missing out on the amazing factor. Alas, I don't need to fall in love with expensive, fatty-ass butter. Especially when I'm not exercising. Which I didn't today. But will tomorrow. Yes.

Back to Miss America on TLC [WOW train wreck, and I thought my reality shows were entertaining...they've got nothing on this] and organizing my life. Princess is at his brother's house of debauchery, doing god knows what so I have the house to myself. I am relishing in losering it up. Off to eat a limited edition Apple Pie yogurt from Stonyfield Farms, then maybe some tea. I need to try and remember to grab my laundry before I fall asleep. These are my roaring 20's.....

A homeless man critiqued the change that I gave him tonight.

And I yelled at him. In public, in front of people.

So I will revert to my former policy of never giving anyone begging any money. I am not evil, I am under 30 and not close to rich and I make efforts to give to charities I deem important all year [Jimmy Fund, ARL, Salvation Army, USO, Helping Hands, various MS and Diabetes orgs], I'm trying to get over my fear of giving blood, I donate bags and bags of my old clothes a couple times a year, and would gladly give my sweatshirt or the 2nd half of my Twix to a stranger as long as he wasn't a kiddie rapist... But I seldom, actually never, for years, give homeless folks money when they ask for it on the street.

Tonight, on my way to meet Darling at the lawyers [we are re-fied at 5.25..woo-hoo!!] after trying to park for 40 minutes and then starting my walk across the Common in the oh, 8 degrees? out, I walked by a guy asking "for money to get him out of the cold". I smiled and said sorry, per usual. Then I felt bad and reconsidered - it is SO COLD OUT - and I was late so I quickly fished out the teeny amount of change I had in my wallet. I didn't even look at it, just handed it over and started to walk away. I got a "Thank You" and then an immediate "Wait...what's this...did you just give me 4 cents??" I shit you not. And this was accompanied by an almost comical look [I'd turned around by now] of disbelief. Now granted, 4 cents isn't going to help this guy and under other circumstances I maybe would've dug up more change - hell if Boston wasn't so annoying in charging 25 cents per FIFTEEN MINUTES, it would have been at least 29 cents. But this was what was immediately available in the change portion of my wallet while I'm hustling and cold. And

a. I had no idea it was only 4 cents

b. I worked for that 4 frigging cents and CHOSE to give it to someone who appeared down on his luck but more likely is a drunk or drug addict. Sorry to any other druggies or drunks, I'm a liberatarian and have no issue with you if you don't drive, harm me or my family/friends or ask me to finance your life cause you're too fucked up to do so yourself.

c. This dude is STANDING there - just generally, here's a hint: if you can't get a job, at least move around the park. Rule # 1 of staying warm, keep the blood flowing.

So needless to say, I flipped out - just briefly, I was running late. And I will be honest, I felt good about it. "Are you criticizing me after I just gave you change?" He starts back peddling and mumbling and looking a little scared. I look meek and pie-eyed, I'm a girl and I smile a lot and I'm barely over legal-midget height. But I will warn you: do not let the 1980's Joseph Lee Elementary School upbringing rear its ugly head because it is in fact very ugly. He switched back to "No, no, THANK YOU, I mean THANKS!". Whatever. I then added on a couple of each of the following "Seriously?" "You've got balls, dude" "What a fucking asshole" "Never again" and "Only in this fucking state, jesus". Apologies to Boston/Massachusetts and Jesus, I love-love-love my state and have no religious background that makes me yay or nay Jesus, but I was all types of fired up.

I kept walking, totally talking to myself like a nut for most of the remainder of my journey. As someone who speaks up for herself enough, but doesn't always, I was glad I fired back at him. Maybe some will consider this a hate crime, or at the least insensitive or that I'm a jackass for giving someone 4 cents. In hindsight, in his shoes, I'd probably think I was a yuppie-douche too, but I would NEVER even conceive of calling the yuppie-douche out on it. Sorry I don't carry change - it's 2009. Did he think his piping up would make me reconsider "Shit, sorry dude, hold on - let me fish out a $20". I am never going against my instincts again. NEVER.

On our walk back we went by him again - still in the same place. I asked Princess to please be quiet while we passed [I had of course screamed to him the entire story via iPhone 5 minutes later, like the yuppie-douche that I am]. He grew up in San Diego and lived in San Francisco for a couple years as a grown up, so if you think that I sound like I hate homeless people, have a beer with My Muffin. Needless to say, the dude started with his standard request and immediately shut himself up when he recognized me. I avoided eye contact and the urge to kick him...

Enough with the ranting, it's just people with bad manners really piss me off. How hard is a please or a thank you? Being gracious should be taught in school. I am so lucky to have been raised by nice, normal, decent humans. Thank you mom and dad and the entire Harris family. I'm going to stop now before I start going off on the kids and the myspace.....goodness. Anyhow, this is a food blog so today I ate:

My bagel, some tea.

Some water, an LC pasta bowl for Lunch [I was in Westford until 4].

Dinner was a McD's cheeseburger Happy Meal with a small order of nuggets on the side. They screwed up my order, thus the nuggets. Worse things could happen, and I ate them anyway. And I sure as hell didn't rip the dude at the drive-thru a new asshole....grrr...

Came home and had more tea and 2 Reeses during The Office. Line of the night was "beet-stained teeth"....from Jim, sigh. Liz Lemon dancing was also impressive. Channel 7 has had Thursdays on lockdown for a while, huh?

I'm on my final cup of tea now and just had one of those mini-bags of popcorn? Nice concept but poor execution. Maybe it's my microwave but I either can't pop enough of the kernels or burn the bag entirely. The latter was tonight. God is probably punishing me for my treatment of the less-fortunate by making my entire house reek of burnt corn. Yumm-o.

Off to bed, I'm digging the Artie book but fearing he's heading toward a really bad melt-down soon. He is hysterical but there is this huge sadness and need in him that I don't think anyone can help with the way he is right now. He needs to take care of his shit, I hope he will. Adding to this, Celebrity Rehab Sober House made me sad... Enough with the feelings, good night!

"No way"

That was my sentiment this morning at Target [yes, I popped in before work. And yes, it's the 3rd time I've been in less than 48 hours - I have issues] when I found a pair of pants one size up from my current [Wii-overweight] waistline. I was hoping to buy something that would fit with long underwear under it [it's 11 degrees out] and have the bonus of being a *little* more comfy while I'm still fat. However, when it came to actually making the decision to purchase, I said "No Way". As in, "No Way would I even come close to filling those...right?", "No Way I've let myself get THAT much bigger", "No Way, how did I wander into the tent section?" Needless to say, there was no way I could actually buy pants that big. So, "No way" will become my new mantra. Even without the "way", if I could just start saying NO to food I'd be so much better off...alas.

So I went into a vortex yesterday. Everyone has this idea that you work from home and can get soooo much accomplished but my WFH days are nuts-to-butts filled, I get anxious around 3 because the day is going so fast. I love it, I love being busy, I love not having a second to space out - but it makes things like mindless food-blogging go by the wayside.

I haven't recapped since Tuesday mid-day. Quickly -
Tuesday:
Had that apple and more tea
Lunch was a burrito w/ sc and salsa and some juice/water
I had one of these 100 calorie belgian chocolate bars from TJs [surprisingly delicious!!] and more tea

I did 25 minutes of the Wii Fit - not exactly pushing myself. Why can't I suddenly develop an addictive personality and get addicted to working out? Not like compulsive eating disorder addicted but just kind of jazzed…moment of silence for the first use of jazz as a verb in my blog.

Had my pizza at trivia, 2 of my sister's fries and 4 beers [wow!]
I also had a few bites of their chocolate chip cookies, they were actually pretty decent.

Wednesday:
My bagel with butter and CC
Tea
Gross WF Ravioli from a can. Not as gross as you'd think, but not good.
More Tea
Some juice
100 calorie chocolate
More Tea
Pizza [again! This might be a another diet secret...eliminate pizza]
More juice
A pickle
1 Reeses cup and more tea…in bed while reading Artie's book IN MY HOUSE…that was a great feeling!!

No moving at all... I had intentions and then just ran out of time and didn't make it a priority. We need a TV in the bike room, the iMac shows DVDs but for live shows it would be nice to kill 2 birds with one stone. No excuses, bottom line is that I"m lazy. I ate dinner wicked late [like Top Chef late], due to shopping. Quite a successful shopping trip though, nothing exciting but plenty of good bargains for my home.

Beyond that, it's Thursday - finally - I thought yesterday was Thursday until about 1 pm, that was really sad... Heading out early for an appt and then Wii-Fit and The Office! Said-appointment is for completing our re-fi tonight! Signing my life away again..but it should save us about $160 a month and is only costing us the lawyer since we closed so recently, so like $1200 which means it's paid itself off in 8 months! Very exciting. I was apprehensive of more paperwork and apprehensive that things will go completely in the shitter, but if rates do go down to like 3 or 4, we can always refinance again. Fingers crossed, when all is said and done, our mortgage will be down to a grand...

$429.45

That's how much I've spent so far this month. It's the 5th. Granted, that has a credit card payment and my car insurance in it, but good God!! My resolution of tracking every penny I spend is already depressing. It will feel good once those little charts in my iPhone start showing that I'm spending less and less, paying off my stupid credit card / homeowner debt, and generally being a good and responsible late 20-something [5 more months!], right? I'm watching an episode of Platinum weddings that is not helping my financial outlook - her engagement ring is $250k. And not even that pretty! Giant, but not the die-and-gone-to-heaven rock that one would expect for that kind of cash.

Ok, so on to other resolutions, I got up at 6 for some pre-work exercise. Well, I meant to get up at 6, I finally got up at 6:20 when Ed whacked me and mumbled something incoherent that definitely included the word "lazy". Whatever works... Anyhow, did some Wii Fit, 20 minutes. You can jog in place with it! And the Yoga is fun! And the ski jumping and hula hoops are fun! I confirmed I have horrible balance, it keeps asking me if I trip a lot, funny. But yeah, did various exercises for 20 minutes and then needed to get ready for W-O-R-K. Yeahhhh.....

For food, had a plain bagel with butter and CC and garlic salt [nectar of the gods for me lately, so gross] and some tea. Did a half Cali Turkey Club and Ceasar Salad at Crapplebees, with a DC and lemon. Had a banana mid-afternoon. Not so bad, right? Breakfast should have been oatmeal, I know. As long as I need to drive Princess to work at 8 [love having 1 car] I'm going to either need to wake up at 5:30 to fit everything in or plan to work out at night. Neither of those are very attractive.

For dinner, I had a Raspberry UFO and some Dave's fresh butternut/sage ravioli with a garlic/Parmesan/oil sauce that was super good. They're on to the food portion of this wedding and goddamn it's making me hungry. She spoiled the groom with a helicopter cake [they have not 1, not 2 but THREE helicopters]...for $4,000!!! Acck, ok so I'm thinking a snack size bag of popcorn and then some tea and 1 or 2 2-bite brownies for Intervention at 9. No more beer tonight, storing up for trivia tomorrow. Gotta try to get to bed early too. If I'm asleep, I can't snack.