A homeless man critiqued the change that I gave him tonight.

And I yelled at him. In public, in front of people.

So I will revert to my former policy of never giving anyone begging any money. I am not evil, I am under 30 and not close to rich and I make efforts to give to charities I deem important all year [Jimmy Fund, ARL, Salvation Army, USO, Helping Hands, various MS and Diabetes orgs], I'm trying to get over my fear of giving blood, I donate bags and bags of my old clothes a couple times a year, and would gladly give my sweatshirt or the 2nd half of my Twix to a stranger as long as he wasn't a kiddie rapist... But I seldom, actually never, for years, give homeless folks money when they ask for it on the street.

Tonight, on my way to meet Darling at the lawyers [we are re-fied at 5.25..woo-hoo!!] after trying to park for 40 minutes and then starting my walk across the Common in the oh, 8 degrees? out, I walked by a guy asking "for money to get him out of the cold". I smiled and said sorry, per usual. Then I felt bad and reconsidered - it is SO COLD OUT - and I was late so I quickly fished out the teeny amount of change I had in my wallet. I didn't even look at it, just handed it over and started to walk away. I got a "Thank You" and then an immediate "Wait...what's this...did you just give me 4 cents??" I shit you not. And this was accompanied by an almost comical look [I'd turned around by now] of disbelief. Now granted, 4 cents isn't going to help this guy and under other circumstances I maybe would've dug up more change - hell if Boston wasn't so annoying in charging 25 cents per FIFTEEN MINUTES, it would have been at least 29 cents. But this was what was immediately available in the change portion of my wallet while I'm hustling and cold. And

a. I had no idea it was only 4 cents

b. I worked for that 4 frigging cents and CHOSE to give it to someone who appeared down on his luck but more likely is a drunk or drug addict. Sorry to any other druggies or drunks, I'm a liberatarian and have no issue with you if you don't drive, harm me or my family/friends or ask me to finance your life cause you're too fucked up to do so yourself.

c. This dude is STANDING there - just generally, here's a hint: if you can't get a job, at least move around the park. Rule # 1 of staying warm, keep the blood flowing.

So needless to say, I flipped out - just briefly, I was running late. And I will be honest, I felt good about it. "Are you criticizing me after I just gave you change?" He starts back peddling and mumbling and looking a little scared. I look meek and pie-eyed, I'm a girl and I smile a lot and I'm barely over legal-midget height. But I will warn you: do not let the 1980's Joseph Lee Elementary School upbringing rear its ugly head because it is in fact very ugly. He switched back to "No, no, THANK YOU, I mean THANKS!". Whatever. I then added on a couple of each of the following "Seriously?" "You've got balls, dude" "What a fucking asshole" "Never again" and "Only in this fucking state, jesus". Apologies to Boston/Massachusetts and Jesus, I love-love-love my state and have no religious background that makes me yay or nay Jesus, but I was all types of fired up.

I kept walking, totally talking to myself like a nut for most of the remainder of my journey. As someone who speaks up for herself enough, but doesn't always, I was glad I fired back at him. Maybe some will consider this a hate crime, or at the least insensitive or that I'm a jackass for giving someone 4 cents. In hindsight, in his shoes, I'd probably think I was a yuppie-douche too, but I would NEVER even conceive of calling the yuppie-douche out on it. Sorry I don't carry change - it's 2009. Did he think his piping up would make me reconsider "Shit, sorry dude, hold on - let me fish out a $20". I am never going against my instincts again. NEVER.

On our walk back we went by him again - still in the same place. I asked Princess to please be quiet while we passed [I had of course screamed to him the entire story via iPhone 5 minutes later, like the yuppie-douche that I am]. He grew up in San Diego and lived in San Francisco for a couple years as a grown up, so if you think that I sound like I hate homeless people, have a beer with My Muffin. Needless to say, the dude started with his standard request and immediately shut himself up when he recognized me. I avoided eye contact and the urge to kick him...

Enough with the ranting, it's just people with bad manners really piss me off. How hard is a please or a thank you? Being gracious should be taught in school. I am so lucky to have been raised by nice, normal, decent humans. Thank you mom and dad and the entire Harris family. I'm going to stop now before I start going off on the kids and the myspace.....goodness. Anyhow, this is a food blog so today I ate:

My bagel, some tea.

Some water, an LC pasta bowl for Lunch [I was in Westford until 4].

Dinner was a McD's cheeseburger Happy Meal with a small order of nuggets on the side. They screwed up my order, thus the nuggets. Worse things could happen, and I ate them anyway. And I sure as hell didn't rip the dude at the drive-thru a new asshole....grrr...

Came home and had more tea and 2 Reeses during The Office. Line of the night was "beet-stained teeth"....from Jim, sigh. Liz Lemon dancing was also impressive. Channel 7 has had Thursdays on lockdown for a while, huh?

I'm on my final cup of tea now and just had one of those mini-bags of popcorn? Nice concept but poor execution. Maybe it's my microwave but I either can't pop enough of the kernels or burn the bag entirely. The latter was tonight. God is probably punishing me for my treatment of the less-fortunate by making my entire house reek of burnt corn. Yumm-o.

Off to bed, I'm digging the Artie book but fearing he's heading toward a really bad melt-down soon. He is hysterical but there is this huge sadness and need in him that I don't think anyone can help with the way he is right now. He needs to take care of his shit, I hope he will. Adding to this, Celebrity Rehab Sober House made me sad... Enough with the feelings, good night!